Physical abuse and verbal abuse often go hand-in-hand, and the choice to render emotional harm rather than physical harm is just that: a choice.
Verbal abuse uses words to destroy you while mental abuse teaches you to use your own mind against yourself.
Unlike physical abuse, verbal abuse involves using words to hurt the other. Often we have the impression that in order to be victims of verbal abuse, the partner has to scream at us. In reality, it is a series of behaviours. Specifically, the victim is manipulated to question his/her beliefs, memories and mental health.
Verbal abuse can consist of threats, hostility, insults, and obscenities. It can also be malicious words that degrade, humiliate, sadden and cause the victim to feel vulnerable and to lose all self-esteem. This is the case when the victim begins to believe the perpetrator and becomes excessively fragile when around them.
We can’t deny the fact that ‘Words have Power’. When we speak loving words that encourage and inspire, we motivate our near and dear ones to be the best. But when we speak words that are too hard, harsh or critical and we are constantly finding fault in them, their self-esteem and confidence will likely plummet or shave off slowly. If all you do is speak words that discourage and dishearten your friends, spouse, children, sibling, relative, not only will you destroy their self-worth, but you open up the door for insecurities which is like opening up Pandora’s box of all kinds of mental health issues from anxiety and depression to psychopathic behaviors and disorders.
‘Words’ hurt just like sticks and stones!
We all know this, despite the adage (“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me“). There are physical and emotional consequences of “just” verbal abuse. The effects of parental verbal aggression were comparable to “those associated witnessing domestic violence or non familial sexual abuse.” In fact, verbal aggression produced larger effects than familial physical abuse. There’s evidence too that exposure to verbal abuse in childhood actually alters the structure of the brain especially during the middle school years, when the brain is actively developing, exposure to peer bullying and verbal abuse caused changes to the white matter in the brain.
Just because we can’t see the wounds doesn’t mean they aren’t literally and physically there. The rise of juvenile crime is linked to childhood emotional abuse. We must get parents and teachers understand that harsh words can have serious consequences.
Section 294A and 294B of Indian penal code have legal provisions for punishing individuals who use inappropriate or obscene words (either spoken or written) in public that are maliciously deliberate to outrage religious feelings or beliefs. In February 2015, a local court in Mumbai asked police to file a first information report against 14 Bollywood celebrities who were part of stage show of All India Bakchod, a controversial comedy stage show known for vulgar and profanity based content. In May 2019 during the election campaign, the Prime minister of India listed out the abusive words the opposition Congress party had used against him and his mother during their campaign.
In January 2016, a Mumbai based communications agency initiated a campaign against profanity and abusive language called “Gaali free India” (Gaali is the hindi word for profanity). Using creative ads, it called upon people to use swachh (clean) language on the lines of Swacch Bharat mission for nationwide cleanliness. It further influenced other news media outlets who further raised the issue of abusive language in the society especially incest abuses against women.
We must understand that verbal abuse is nothing more than control. The perpetrator selects someone who they believe to be weaker and proceeds to bully them. When you don’t let the bully know what they say bothers you, it takes away all their power. Once they realize their remarks aren’t affecting the victim, they most likely will stop. So, raise your voice against verbal abuse because forgiving abuse and showing empathy and compassion to the perpetrator is like saying their abusive behaviour is excusable and makes it acceptable, which it is NOT; no abuse should ever be excused.
Let’s take pledge to eradicate abusive words from our vocabulary and say ‘NO’ to verbal abuse for a better and progressive society.
