School bullying, like bullying outside the school context, refers to one or more perpetrators who have greater physical or social power than their victim and act aggressively toward their victim by verbal or physical means.
This behavior is not a one-off episode; it must be repetitive and habitual to be considered bullying. Students who are LGBT, have parents of lower educational levels, are thought to be provocative, are perceived to be vulnerable, or are atypical or considered outsiders are at higher risk of being victimized by bullies. Baron (1977) defined such “aggressive behaviour as behaviour that is directed towards the goal of harming or injuring another living being who is motivated to avoid such treatment”.
Signs that a child is being bullied may include: unexplainable injuries, symptoms of anxiety and post-traumatic stress, lost or destroyed clothing, changes in eating habits, declining grades, continual school absences, self-harm, suicidal ideations, and becoming overly apologetic.
Signs that a child is bullying others may include: getting into physical or verbal fights, getting sent to the principal’s office frequently, having friends who bully others, and becoming increasingly aggressive in normal activities.
Signs that a child has witnessed bullying include: poor school behaviour, emotional disturbance, depression, post-traumatic stress, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicidal ideation.
Victims of bullying tend to be physically smaller, more sensitive, unhappy, cautious, anxious, quiet, and withdrawn. They are sometimes characterized as passive or submissive. Possessing these qualities makes these individuals vulnerable, as they are seen as being less likely to retaliate.
Another risk factor for becoming a victim is low self-esteem; however, low self-esteem can also be a consequence of having been bullied. Victims of cyberbullying, on the other hand, may not have lower scores than uninvolved students but might have higher body-related self-esteem than both victims of traditional bullying and bullies.
As a result of bullying, victims may feel depressed, anxious, angry, stressed, helpless, out of control, and may experience a significant drop in school performance, or, in rare cases, commit suicide (bullycide). They tend to feel more lonely and problematic adjustment to school. Over the long term, they may feel insecure, lack trust, exhibit extreme sensitivity or hypervigilance, develop mental illnesses such as avoidant personality disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or develop other health challenges. They may also desire revenge, sometimes leading them to torment others in return.
It’s important to report bullying right away so that someone in authority can put a stop to it. By telling someone that you are being bullied, you will be standing up for yourself and showing the bullies that you will not put up with their abuse. Find a teacher, parent, school counselor, or someone else who can help you and immediately tell them what the bully has been saying or doing to you. If the bullying occurs somewhere else, call the police or get a cop’s attention if one is nearby.
Try saying something like, “Pintu (symbolic name) is bullying me. He keeps making fun of my weight and he will not stop. I have asked him to stop, but he is still doing it. I think I need some help to make it stop.”
You can also write a note to explain what is happening. Deliver the note to your teacher, school counselor, or principal.
Tell someone else if the first person you tell does not do anything about the bully. Don’t accept that you will have to put up with the bullying.
It is the bully’s goal to get an emotional response out of you, so do your best to keep calm and avoid showing them how you feel. Try your best not to show that you are angry, sad, or frightened. The bully may feed off of these emotions and increase their efforts.
Take a few deep breaths and think about something that makes you happy, such as getting a good grade on a test, playing with your dog, or something fun that you are planning to do with your family over the weekend. Doing this may help you to take a step back from the situation and avoid reacting to your emotions. Make sure that you keep your eyes open and maintain eye contact with the bully as you do this.
Respond to the bully in a calm way. For example, you might say, “Shalu (Symbolic name), I know you think you’re funny, but you’re not. Stop.” Or, “Stop now or I’m asking the teacher to move you away from me.”
Be sure to talk about how the bully made you feel with someone else later on. Talk with your parents, a school counselor, or a teacher.
Bullying is a serious problem that can escalate and cause serious damage if it is not stopped. Take any bullying that you see or hear about very seriously, and don’t hesitate to tell someone who can help. You might even need to contact the police or call emergency services in some situations. You may need to involve the police or seek medical attention for the person if:
A weapon is involved.
There are threats involved.
The violence or threats are motivated by hate, such as racism or homophobia.
The bully has done serious physical harm to the person.
Sexual abuse is involved.
Anything illegal has happened, such as blackmail or robbery.
Spread the word that bullying has to stop. Many schools have anti-bullying campaigns led by students who want to keep their schools safe and friendly. Join a group or start one at your school to spread awareness about the problem of bullying and figure out ways to solve it.
Try starting a conversation with your friends about bullying. You might say something like, “Did you know that bullying is still happening at our school? I think it is terrible and I would like to do something to stop it.”
Talk with your teacher or school counselor about ways you can help. For example, you might be invited to give a presentation on bullying in your class or you might be able to help organize an event to raise awareness about bullying.
Don’t be afraid. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.