Child sexual abuse is an extremely sensitive and tough topic for parents and children. But still, it is essential to empower your children in today’s scenario!
So, let’s take a deep breath and set on a journey to understand how we can educate kids about good touch and bad touch….
Explain what constitutes ‘good touch’ and what ‘bad touch’ is. You can explain “good touch” as a way for people to show they care for each other and help each other (i.e., hugging, holding hands, changing a baby’s diaper). “Bad touch”, on the other hand, is the kind you don’t like and want it to stop right away (e.g. hitting, kicking, or touching private parts). Tell your child that most touches are okay or acceptable, but that he or she must say “NO” and immediately tell you about any touches that are confusing or that scare him or her.
Teach them it is not okay for anyone to look at or touch their private parts — the area covered by their underwear. It is easier for a child to follow a rule, and they will more immediately recognise a “bad touch” if they have this guideline in mind. Reassure your children that you will listen to him or her, believe him or her, and want to keep him or her protected.
Use appropriate language. Teach children proper names for all body parts — including words like ‘genitals’, ‘penis’, ‘vagina’, ‘breasts’ and ‘buttocks’. Making up names may give the child the idea that there is something bad about the proper name. Also, teach your child which parts are private (e.g. parts covered by a swimming suit).
Explain the concept of privacy and body space. It is important to teach your younger children to give older siblings their privacy.
Expect questions.The questions your child asks and the answers that are appropriate to give will depend on your child’s comprehension, maturity and age.
Don’t laugh or giggle even if the question is silly or is completely based on a myth. Don’t react with anger, surprise, disgust or embarrassment. Your child should never be made to feel ashamed for his or her curiosity. Even if a child is manifesting with homosexual ideations, one needs to listen empathically and sensitively.
Be brief. Don’t go into a long explanation. Make it a habit to answer these queries clearly and concisely, using simple terms. For example, your pre-schooler doesn’t need to know the details of sexual functioning. All content shared with children must always be age appropriate.
Don’t force affection. Do not force your children to give hugs or kisses to people when they do not want to. It is their right to tell even grandma or grandpa that they do not want to give them a kiss or a hug goodbye. Inappropriate touching — especially by a trusted adult, relative or family member — can be very confusing to a child.
Constantly reinforce the idea that their body is their own, and they have every right to protect it. It is very important that your child knows that he or she can always tell you or another trusted grown-up if he or she has been touched inappropriately. That way, your child knows that you’re committed to protecting him/her.